Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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