At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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