It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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