3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
