I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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