He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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