I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
