that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
