I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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