the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
