He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
