if you like me you must not know who I am
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Less talking, more tequila
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
