all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
