i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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