Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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