And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize