For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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