whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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