no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
