I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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