THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
