Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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