you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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