from now on my penis is your penis
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
How does one acquire holy water?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
