Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
