his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
