Christians are straight up FREAKS
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
