I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
