just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
