I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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