There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
