just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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