Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize