I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
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There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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