Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
