census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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