I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
