Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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