Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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