Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
