new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize