Its about making memories worth repressing
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
