You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Are we still banned from the library?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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