oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
