Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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