Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
