My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
