literally had 100 drinks last night.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
