How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
