yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
