i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
