That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
