I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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