I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
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Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
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Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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