hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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