The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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