someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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