if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
