trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
