my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
