his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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