she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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