We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
