How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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