none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
