If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old