I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
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Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
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i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth