tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe isn't a time...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.