I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.