She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.