your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Brb crying the tears of my youth
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.