on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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